I’m taking a break from organizing and cleaning a house that doesn’t quite feel like ours. As soon as we walked in to our house, after two years away, I knew we weren’t going to stay here this trip. The cabinets were filled with dishes, glasses, cookware, and tchotchkes that don’t belong to us. All of the kids’ furniture had been disassembled and stuffed into closets. Our artwork was stacked behind a bookshelf, and the mezuzahs were all taken down from the doorposts (we still have no idea where they are). There is paint on our dining room table, chairs, floor, and patio furniture. It looks like none of our tenants ever attempted to clean out the drains. I feel overwhelmed.
When I first looked around, I was mad. My initial instinct was to just get rid of everything, and to blame all of our previous tenants for not taking care of our house the way we would have. I didn’t want to deal with any of it. I emailed all of our previous tenants, but no one really wanted all of the items they left at the house. It turns out that it is actually a lot of work to give things away – posting online for free or driving carloads of items to Goodwill takes time. Somehow, it all just needs to get done. I have to let go of a lot of things – physically and metaphorically.
The best part of being back has been reconnecting with friends. Every day we have gotten to spend some time with people who we love and miss. I even have neighborhood book club to attend this evening! Our community has always been the most important part of our lives here, and that still feels true, even while we are just visiting. We dropped off the kids with their grandparents in Atlanta, and I was hoping for two weeks of vacation with Danny. Alas, he is bombarded with work at the moment, and I have more things to take care of in the house than I anticipated. We signed up for SUP lessons on the Boulder Reservoir on Sunday morning in an attempt to have at least one morning of fun before the kids arrive next week. So far, no hikes, yoga classes, or bike rides along the Boulder Creek path. I did get to teach a qi gong class at the Boulder JCC on Friday, and have another class there this afternoon.
Everyone wants to know how it feels to be back. Physically, I feel drained. My elbows are sore from moving things around the house. That spot on my back that burns when I feel mad is inflamed. My digestion is definitely off (TMI, I know). Emotionally, I have a strange feeling like the past two years never happened. The fact that we can carry on a pretty fluent conversation in Hebrew is completely irrelevant here. Because of the isolation of the pandemic, many of the people we are meeting have only started seeing friends in the past month or so, post vaccination. It seems like we really didn’t miss that much. Going through our things at the house is sad. I looked through a box of pictures yesterday while I was eating lunch, and just burst into tears. Sentimental items are too hard to deal with at the moment. I’m just shifting where they will be stored in the hopes that our new tenants actually stay in the house for the year, and don’t find a new house to buy in the neighborhood, like half of our previous tenants did. We have bookshelves filled with books that are no longer relevant to our kids. I don’t even know where to donate so many beautiful children’s books. I wish it were easy to get them to Israel, because people are always looking for good English books there.
It is startling and yet completely comfortable to look outside and see so much green with the mountains beyond. We have a bit of culture shock (why is the toilet paper so thick and soft?), but we went to the DMV to get our drivers licenses renewed and had no problem telling them what we needed to do. It took about 15 minutes, and there were no cultural or language barriers. When I first went to Whole Foods, I was amazed at how many new brands of kombucha were on the shelves. I could actually understand all of the labels. Consumer products seems pretty affordable (even though I know the prices have increased here, they are still cheaper than in Israel). Coronavirus restrictions are pretty minimal in Colorado now. We wore masks at synagogue on Shabbat, but stores no longer require masks for vaccinated individuals. No one asks for proof of vaccination, so I guess they are relying on people being honest.
We are trying to stay grounded and just get one thing done at a time. The hours seem to fly past – who knew that cleaning a grill could be so time consuming? If anyone in town is interested in cook books, a coffee table, twin mattresses, serving platters, glassware, or children’s books, please be in touch. You are welcome to come by and take a look at what we have to pass along. We don’t know what our plans are for the future (another question everyone is asking us) but we do know that we have a lot of stuff we are ready to part with. Our new tenants move in on August 1st, so at least we have a deadline. After that, maybe it will feel like more of a vacation.
The Traveling Sherwinters 
Bad tenants! I would be furious too, but then, you just have to suck it up, I guess. Little by little you will get it all sorted. We’d love your book collection in london!! Maybe library wants them or school libraries?
It is really surreal to look at your old life from the outside, and still feel sort of on the inside!! How discombobulating!!! It must feel strange to hear English everywhere. America is so easy compared to israel! Keep sending your reactions. Priceless!! Xxx
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Karli, the children’s books could go to Emergency Family Assistance OR you could donate them to the Bookworm under the new tenants’ name and give them the store credit for use during the next year. Just trying to think outside the box to get some of this stuff out of your house!
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It sounds like everyone wants the books! I got tons of messages last night, but my sister called right after I wrote the post asking me to put them aside for her kids.
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